{The Grandpa's Favorite}

Well … it’s happening.

It’s 7:12 p.m. and I’m sitting in my PJs, eating an orange popsicle and watching track cycling.

I’m becoming grandpa. 

You may be thinking, “Don’t worry, that’s just a one-time thing.”

But, yesterday, I wore a sweater and ski socks around the house all afternoon because I was SO COLD! I’m a little scared…

Now, I have a few things to get to concerning grandpa, but first, let’s address track cycling. Why is this on primetime? First of all, I didn’t even know this sport existed and maybe that’s my bad, but this sport is super lame. For those of you who aren’t familiar with track cycling, people have to push them to get them going {I thought after you learned to ride your bike, people stopped doing that…} Anyway, then they start getting the speed wobbles. And I don’t mean the go-so-fast-you-wobble speed wobble, I’m talking about the so-slow-you-might-fall-over speed wobble. They “race” two laps at the slowest pace possible. For real, they have to do that thing where you turn your front wheel back and forth to keep from falling over. Then the last lap, they go as fast as they can. I don’t get it.

Oh good, springboard diving is on! This is much better. We can all calm down.

Now, let’s get back to life with grandpa, shall we?

I’m starting to understand what it feels like when you’re a mom and you spend all day feeding and cleaning and putting up with your kids and then they get super excited and forget about you when the dad comes home.  {Does any of that make sense?} 

Well, all week I feed and clean up after and hang out with grandpa. But when Jordan gets home, HE’s the apple of grandpa’s eye. Grandpa even documented Jordan’s arrival on the calendar – “Jordan Returned.”

I have a few ideas why grandpa loves Jordan more than me.  

{1} Jordan always edges when he mows the lawn. First of all, I don’t think grandpa believes girls are physically able to mow the lawn - even though I do it 75% of the time. However, I don’t edge because I’m still playing the “I don’t know how to use a gas-powered edger” excuse. And I’m gonna play that card for as long as it works. In reality, I just really hate when the grass whips my legs :(

{2} Grandpa thinks I’m a wimp because I’m afraid of bats. Well, when you’ve slept in a room fluttering with hantavirus, you might understand where I’m coming from. But grandpa simply catches the bats with his bare hands {fact}, squeezes their heads with his thumb and finger {fact} and throws their remains to the wayside {FACT}.

{3} I want to kill the damn squirrel that grandpa keeps feeding. {Please excuse my language, but it’s gotten to that point.} He keeps a pile of bird seed right outside the basement door and EVERYTIME I go outside the squirrel runs across my toes and up a tree {okay that’s not a fact, but the squirrel is really too close for comfort.}

I always knew Jordan would be the cool parent – he let’s kids run wild, while I prefer the Iron Fist Method. 

He’s the kind of guy who would let his kids do track cycling if that was their dream… and I don’t think I could do that.

I guess I’ve got a ways to go to becoming the “cool” parent in this relationship. But at least I’m dominating with my old person skills while lounging in my jammies and eating orange popsicles.